Keeping my tank full so I can take on the world!

i so love you. Every time I know I'm going to talk to you, be with you, email you, see your face,(even on just FB) I feel love. Mom and I have been discussing meaning of life etc ( you know everyday conversations..lol) and the meaning of life, is most likely to raise the love/healing/love energy/awareness.. it increases all good things.. when I am with you and with mom, and both of our two boys.. I feel like a superhero. Like I can do anything, tackle anything, be anything.. with these amazing people, (who love me so I must be great, capable) behind and beside me, I am the most empowered, I feel so full of life, and energy, (and I can know what this is, because i've felt the other side. sucked dry of energy, sad/depressed etc at many other times in my life) this is the get up and go of progress and shared enlightement.. this is the awakeness that transforms and helps people grow and open to new ideas. I feel creative, imaginative, empowered, aware.. in your prescence.. and from you it spreads. Bless you so much for that.



The above, grammatically problematic paragraph, was originally a quick email to a dear person. I saw a pic of her ( a relative I truly love) on FB, and having been with her earlier, I felt the need to tell her what I was feeling.

When I finished typing, I realized all it said to me. (My truth as I see it)

We're here for however long ~ be it 1x, 2x, or infinity, depending on your belief- Excluding Einstein, maybe Newtown?, Nobel? and a handful of others, we are not going to be remembered long term on this planet.

In this lifetime, now, we have the opportunity to be a positive or negative force. We can leave behind positive energy, or negative energy. I believe we can increase the positive energy around us every day, and by doing so, we are healing. We are healing ourselves, we are healing all we come in contact with, we are healing the planet. In the long term, this energy collects, it grows, it influences on many levels. This is what we leave behind, what we CAN leave behind. Our legacy,shared with everyone.. positive energy/ Love energy/respect for all/CHI/etc.. We feel it every day, call it what you will. Positive Energy. We CAN leave that behind.

As I wrote above, when I am with someone who is curious, bright, energetic, positive, kind, loving, open to ideas and new concepts and thoughts, it is empowering. We have all felt that. You feel alive with alive people, and of course the opposite is true, negative people bring us down. We physically and mentally lose energy, our personal power seeps away around negativity.

I remembered today that we will always face, meet, have to spend time with those who are negative thinkers, who bring you down instead of boost you up. But we can make sure that we spend enough time with those who empower us, fill us up, energize us, forward thinkers who get us... being around them, so when we are faced with days where the "world" creeps in, we have armour. A full tank of gas, so even if it's a long day/ a long road.. you'll make it through.

I submit, that if we all kept our tanks full, there could be great change. If we stopped waiting til we were empty to take a walk with a friend, talk with your mom/son/cousin, if we remembered how important it is to be the best we can be and nurtured ourselves so we had the healing/loving/positive energy to give away to the world. I wonder what would happen. I'm going to try. I'll keep you posted.

A Karma Experience

I passed 4 styrofoam cups and a platter.

I felt ENGRAGED! I usually feel mad, upset, distraught, disgusted, occassionaly leaning into anger, but for some reason on this particular walk, I felt ENRAGED!

"OMG" I Harumphed loudly, alone on the street.
"Who/What/Why/Jesus!" My brain tripped overitself trying to yell and process my anger all at the same time.

"They will Suffer!" I (kinda) yelled onto my empty street and the invisible, evil litterers who'd been here. And I meant it. Seriously. For about 30 seconds.

Then it hit me. Hard. This is my suffering! This is my Karmic Experience, for I used to litter long ago! I dropped styrofoam (butts, paper, plastic etc) on a few streets in my early days, and this is my suffering.

To be so hurt by the litter I see, is suffering, and I acknowledge that I deserve karmic action for what I did not know then.

Will their suffering be the same? Will they suffer at all? ( I do think so) Is my slate clean now? (My mom noted that she thinks I'm now evened out on this particular issue, wouldn't that be nice!)

I will take away a few lessons from this, expand on what I felt/know;

We are all ignorant until we know. I don't need to judge people for what I see as their faults, we're all on a path, we all learn in our own time, in our own order. As a positive force I can teach more, show more, educate more when I'm in tune with karma and the laws of the universe, not trying to be the sheriff!

The world is FAIR - yin/yang - Karma will always get you eventually, so just do good! Okay, so that one I know.. but still.. Just do good!