Sunday, July 11, 2010


Talking with my fabulous mother this afternoon, we began discussing gratefulness, a topic we enjoy discussing often. One of her author mentors, challenged his readers to look at your motives, or reasons for giving. If you give with the expectation of being thanked, of someone being grateful, then your intent is not to give to someone, but to get something for yourself.

I believe we can all agree that being thankful for gifts is a good thing, to show others your grateful, to show the universe your grateful, but to expect gratitude, or even expect a certain kind of thank you.. is a different animal all together.

To expect gratitude, means we are giving with expectation. This can create negative feelings on both sides. The giver and the receiver can both be hurt in this manner.

As a parent, I know I enjoy giving a lot to my son; love, care, food, shelter, presents, fun etc etc... I DO want him to look at me like I'm the best in the world, and so.. my motives are not entirely pure. How do I give to him without expecting anything? How do we give to anyone without expectation of gratitude?

Giving, sharing with others with a pure, open heart is not easy. We live in a world where it is dog eat dog, winner takes all, fight to survive. We all want to be loved, and seen as super in someone's eyes. Putting all that aside, is a constant struggle for humans. I beleive it is a worthwhile struggle, one I pledge to work through.

What will it be like to give without expectation? I'll let you know.


  1. You know it's funny... Right here... This is the core of Lars and my last big argument. We both felt we were giving more than we were getting gratitude from one another for - and he complained about all his giving in a public forum. That fight almost ended us. :( I wish I knew the answers here.

    I'm so glad we were able to work things out. It really does take a while stand back and reevaluate entire situations, huh?

  2. You are so right, it does take a while and patience and perspective. Ain't it funny how if we always got what we want, we'd never know these real truths.. life would be so superficial. We need ache to learn. Glad you guys are working it out.. daily. xoxo