Never linger too long with the ignorant, throw stones at their talk. Walk only with the lovers, the mirror of the soul gets rusty when dipped in muddy water. - Rumi
Saw this on a post this morning, and it resonates with me today.
However, I'm confused how/if that fits with my other teachings. Forgiveness, understanding, acceptance of others.
Do we look at each situation individually in our lives and decide then? Can both philosophies be correct?
Do we/can we walk away? Do we suck it up and forgive, understand, accept a person as is, even if that person doesn't fit our life?
I cannot be the only person with this conundrum. We all have circles of people in our lives, sometimes a person is in the circle because someone else brought them in. How do we accept someone who is so different from us? When almost every part of them is opposite to how we believe, how do you accept that in your circle?
Life is lessons each day, and "these" people do teach us things. Do we want these lessons in the safety and comfort of our homes, where we are supposed to be able to relax and let the world fall off our shoulders? Is it easier to learn this type of lesson that way? Is learning to deal with people you wouldn't choose to be with easier at home, then on the train or in line at supermarket?
We may think the lesson is to learn to deal with people. But what if the lesson is We can't get along with all people? What if the lesson is no matter how much everyone wants it, it might not happen? What if the lesson is how to be around people who irk you successfully? Am I/ you supposed to learn how to deal so we can teach our kids to deal with people they may have to "deal" with in life?
Do I want to teach my son to "put up" with someone who may be rude, challenging, difficult, opposite of his values and teachings? Or, do I want to teach him that there are many people in the world and we can choose which people we want to be with? Am I doing the right thing, if I teach him that he HAS to learn to deal with people that he doesn't want to be around? I'm just not sure.
There will be people around in life that we don't like. I would like, to simply remove myself from their presence. Is that the right thing to do? It can be done respectfully. "The energy you are putting out is too much for me, and/or is disregulating to me" OR " I've made a choice to not be around such anger/upset/etc. , so I'm getting up and leaving now"
(They can choose to be mad at me or insult me for doing so, but that is their choice. I'm in charge of my feelings. Getting up and leaving is taking care of myself.)
Is that not better, than staying and letting my soul get upset and sad? To placate a person, to put up with it, does that help anyone? No, I believe it does not. To let a person be rude or upsetting in our presence is called ENABLING. There are polite ways of letting people know that their behaviours are not something we will put up with in our lives.
We tell our children when their behaviour is unacceptable. At what age do we have to stop doing that? Does life dictate at a certain age, " YOUR Done" all growed up, you may now stay as you are, even if it offends the rest of us.
If your 20/30/40/50 or 60 does that mean you are now to old to be told your behaviour is disrespectful or rude or disregulating to everyone else's flow?
I've removed my son from school, because the people and the energies they put out were counterproductive to the upbringing I'm trying to instill in him. I don't want him to get by, I don't want him to settle. I want him to strive for awesome in everything he does.
If we choose to put up with things in our lives, where does that leave us?
Should we not strive to surround ourselves with love? Should we not strive to remove things that are counterproductive to our lives?
I believe we should.
People are everywhere, I'm not willing to move to the bush (again) with my son. I know we have to remain with everyone, some we'll want to spend time with and some we don't. I want to be open to all of them. Everyone has the potential to be great, to enhance and change our lives in great ways, I want to be open to anyone who has positive lessons for my son and I to learn and grow from.
I can and will choose to empower my life with loving, open, positive, excited people. My life, my energy, my outlook, my output of energy is dependant on me being true to myself. The more I stay true to myself, at all times, the more powerful I become. My energy, my love, my intuition all become more succinct with where I should be, I elevate when I'm with and around good energy. I want that, I owe it to myself and my son to be the best I can be. So I must.
I choose to no longer accept negativity and disrespect in my life. I will allow anyone the chance to bring good energy into our lives, to interact in purposeful, mutually satisfactory ways. I also am reserving the right to walk away from you if you don't. Anyone is welcome, if you bring goodness and light, love and respect, non judgmentalness and understanding. We don't have to always agree, but when we don't.. there must be calm discussion of ideas. I'm not interested in yelling it out, nor do I want to teach my son to do so.
I'm committed to teaching my son that while life does have some conflict, there is a reasonable solution. If there are unreasonable people, I am choosing from now on, to teach him to walk away.